Written by Shan Boodram.
Want to go from “meh” to magnetic? Here are my top 4 tips to help you truly connect with someone on a first date, so you can learn about them and about yourself.
Choose somewhere you’re comfortable
Why? Well, you’re there to learn about yourself and your date. Learning can’t happen without comfort, and we take in less new information when we’re in an unfamiliar environment.
If you learn best by listening, opt for a conversation over a meal. If observing is better for you, suggest a date like spending time with their friends or doing a hobby they like. If you feel more at ease when your body is active, go for something engaging like a hike or a fun, competitive activity like bowling.
Have a genuine story to share
Remember, it’s a date, not a job interview, so steer the conversation into the fresh and familiar straight away. Try saying, “So nice to meet in person! I just got some great news—maybe you’re my new good-luck charm.” Then share something exciting in your life, whether it’s a work win or your favorite anime getting renewed. Next, share why that matters to you.
Listen up
You have two ears and only one mouth, which means it’s great to do twice as much listening as talking on a date. For every question you answer, ask them one back, plus a follow-up question.
Check-in with yourself after
When you get home after the date, ask yourself how these tips worked for you. Did the conversation feel balanced, not one-way? Did you feel comfortable? How did the conversation flow? Does meeting them again feel intriguing, and like a natural next step? Even if the answer is no, you can feel good knowing you approached the date with an open mindset.
Ready to find someone new to try these tips with? Check out Discover. It’s refreshed every day with people who match your vibe.